Sunday, March 29, 2009
The catastrophe of life.
 Life's pretty messed up. But whats there to be sad of? Cuz they say we have to live life to its fullest. -trying my best.I feel empty. The hollow part of me is getting wider. It aches thinking bout it, bleeds seeing lovely couple together. At times, I don't wish to have any relationship tho at times my heart yearns to be a whole again. Whatever. I can survive, I know I can.I got wonderful friends, loving family. Enough to make me happy, at least.
I Wanna Say I Love You So Bad, But I Dont Wanna Scare You Away
Please I Wish That You'll Understand
That I Wanna Be More Than Just Your Friend
I Wish You Loved Me
Sunday, March 22, 2009
i wish for a better day tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.
Please grant my wish. *clasp hand*2009 isn't that bad. But time seems to move quickly. Day, night, day, night. Its already coming to April now. Whoa, how fast it seems to be. Shocking indeed. And I'm a day closer to death. Scary, I know. How I wish I could rewind and go back to the past. The future's not very welcoming, for me.I've been a miss independent for almost 4 months already. (not including the short term relationships I had). I don't feel like having any relationships now cuz I feel majority of the boys are jerks. Its hardly possible to find the right one. Though I do have a crush at the moment. Nothing to be proud of. But, *sigh. Should I tell him? ): or maybe not.I'm down with sore throat. Urgh. I hate the weather. Hot & cold!
Friday, March 20, 2009
pictures.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
yada yada yada.
Yesterday, was great. Didn't feel like going tho cuz it was pouring so heavily in the morning. Bathed, got myself ready asap cuz I was late. The rain stopped and the sun shines. What a relief. Took 143 straight to vivo. Met everyone at the control station and waited for others to come. Not going to be too detailed, tho. Went to Siloso then to Pahlawan. After that, to telok blangah moarse road. BBQ with classmates and Mr Tan, played pool, smoke, dance. Then, celebrated classmates birthday and headed home.Watched Camp Rock with big bro in the living room.So thats how I spent my Tuesday. :D*will be posting pictures as soon as i got them. I can't wait for this Saturday! Life has got no specific directions. I'm walking aimlessly, wasting every minute of my life. Why?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Betrayal
Every human being in this world isn't perfect. They do commit a mistake. But the point is, do they even realize it? I do have a fatal flaw. I never could make the right decision. And I always follow my mind, not my heart. What makes it worst, is my stubbornness. Well, that's me. This past few days, I was caught up in a huge mess. But lucky me, everything had subsided. I left and never will I come back. But like what she says, we will never be able to predict the future. I've made my decision and it WILL be fixed. No more, for sure. I never wanna have anything with him, not anymore. I'm starting a new chapter. Though some things can't be amend. But yeah, I'm changing for the better. Attitude wise, ofcourse. Lets just hope I'll succeed my goals. :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------
It have been pouring, lately. In this gloomy weather, it makes me feel rather...blue.I miss having someone special ):
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Hurt.
Inhale, exhale, SMILE.
Love's like a pile of shit. I've got to keep reminding myself : Life dont always go the way you want it to be.- 15 March 2009 : Photoshoot
- 16 March 2009 : Chem ATP
- 17 March 2009 : Class outing @ sentosa
- 22 March 2009 : School event @ st james
I WANNA DO SOME CATCH UP WITH MY FRIENDS :DI was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
It's only because you're feeling alone
At first when I see you cry
Yeah it makes me smile
Yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile
Whenever you see me
You say that you want me back
And I tell you I don't mean jack
No it don't mean jack
I couldn't stop laughing
No I just couldn't help myself
See you messed up my mental health
I was quite unwell
PS: left, and never coming back.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Feelings.
I've been asking myself, every now and then.
A question I'd like to ask, but dare not.
What makes her so much better than me?
Well, it pains me to think bout it. No one in this world is perfect. Why? I ask myself. But I'm not even a step near to get the answer. I'm in a process of changing myself, to start a new chapter, though some things can't be amend. Sometimes, it got me thinking. Can I even be better than her? What are the defects in me? How am I supposed to be better than her if you can't guide me and tell me whats wrong and whats right? I'm starting from a scratch, just so you know.
No, words can't bring me down. But why is it I feel ashamed of myself? I felt like a fool. Or maybe I am? Am I even in a wrong? Did you guys broke up cuz of me?
I need assurance. Right now, I don't even have confidence in me anymore. But still, I'd like to change, for the better. For the sake of you, me, parents. So even if you take your leave, I won't regret. Cuz in the end, I've learnt alot. BUT you leaving me, thats what i NOT hope for. I'm just stating the fact. No point hiding.
I've learnt the hard way, to not let it go too far. I don't wanna repeat the same mistake. I know my flaws, of making the wrong decision. But lets hope I've made the right choice, for now.
It takes a pair of wings to fly. With only a wing, how can it possibly fly?
So, both have to participate. If only one is doing everything, nothing, nothing can work out. NOTHING can be achieved.
Life goes on, anyway.
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So, today after school, was parents meeting session. Dad came around 5pm. Almost all subject teacher mentioned the same thing - bad attendance. My results for CA1 wasn't that bad. 2 Us - combined science & humans. The four subjects I'm weak in. The rest are improving. But this is all class tests only. I have to stive hard and do my parents proud. Thats a goal, I'm hoping to achieve.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Baby I deserve
More than empty words and promises
I believed everything you said
And I gave you the best I had
take a bow
Cus you've taken everything else
You played the part
And like a star you played it so well
So take a bow
Cus the scene is coming to an end
I gave you love
All you gave me was pretend
So now
Take a bow
The future's about to change
Before you know it
The curtain closes
Take a look around
There's no one in the crowd
I'm throwing away the pain
And you should know that
Your performance
Made me stronger now
I don't wanna play that part. I don't wanna be a broken hearted girl.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Life's like this.
I regret leaving you, 3 years back.If I didn't go away for him, where would we be? Probably still together and somewhere happy.
I searched high an low for someone like you, but to no avail.
But in the end, you came back. & I never wanna lose this chance.
I wanna prove to everyone, that I CAN change, for you.
But how can I? What can I do?
27 April. Is there enough time? Will we be together like how we used to, again?
---------------------------------------------------------Missed school today. Did nothing but rot at home.
And so, I decided to change my url & thanks to my itchy fingers, I edited my blog skin.
But I stick to the same background.
Holidays are coming in 3 days time! But I was hoping for LONGER holiday. Tsk.
Here are the upcoming events* :
- 13 march : School Holiday
- 15 march : event @ zouk [no, not going. Just stating here.]
- 22 march : school event @ st. james power station
- 23 march : School reopen
- 06 april : Papa's birthday
- 11 april : Dhit's birthday
- 12 april : CATS musical
*will be updating again.And so, this few things could help me kill time.Only You & I know. Just a random qs, AM I GETTING FATTER OR THINNER? -.-This march Holiday, I wish to go out with my beloved people. And I hope to strengthen the family bond. I miss both mum & dad.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
I wanted you.
Like a thief, you stole my heart. And I fallen in love so unfairly.
ps : what makes her so much better than me?
Thursday, March 05, 2009
My world revolves around you.
I'm thinking of changing my blog url.Or should I abandon this and start new one?Anyway,HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN FIONA! <3
All the best in your upcoming future.
So many events tomorrow!!1. Cross country
2. BBQ @ West Coast Park
3. BBQ @ East Coast Park with ex-colleagues (probably not coming. far & lazy.)
Haha! Today, HC said something that shocked me & Ros."You two take drugs ah? Your face look like drug addicts."
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Two.
Lost two. And probably not gonna get them back. Life has to go on.
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