Friday, January 30, 2009
Shagged, much?
 I find school pretty draggy today. If only I own a remote to control time. Wouldn't that be great? But I guess thats never possible, ey? Assembly was an arse. Never paid any attention, at all. Just sitting, disturbing people, and wishing time would pass by. But no, teachers keep pulling us back.Celebrated cny with loved ones. It was fun. After all, it is the first time I celebrated this occasion. Interesting. We laughed our heads off in the bus and when walking, too. Everyone around us were staring but so what? :D Oh and I accidentally burnt Ching's hand. I feel guilty & bad. D: My clumsiness had betrayed me. Damn it. I'm sorry Ching. :(Oh, and I promise I will post the pictures once I got them.They say if you love something let it go and if it comes back then that's how you know.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Are memories supposed to fade or stay?
I can't find any words to express/describe how happy I am with life, now. Though its still incomplete... But, this way is fine. I have friends whom I love spending time with, families to sit together and make myself comfortable. I have what it takes to survive but not everything, yet. There's still a small part which I saved in my heart for someone. I'm still not sure who that someone might be. But I'm not gonna rush to complete my life, now. I'm doing all I can, not to commit the same mistakes like in the past. Whats there to rush, right? But no matter how happy I seemed to be, I still can't get over the past tho. For someone whom I trust and thought I could spend my entire life with, betrayed me. Its hilarious and idiotic to not be over a hypocrite. I don't know why its hard. Haha! No worries, I'm not gonna shed a tear, for him. Just that its bothering me & unacceptable for me to not be over him. But soon, SOON, I will.
Memories, Supposed to fade. What's wrong with my heart? Shake it off, let it go. Didn't think it be this hard. Should be strong, moving on. But I see you. Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sudden surge of guilt.
1. guilty about guys.Its not that I'm bragging but I turned down few guys. Well I guess its best to stop making new guy friends. D: I feel bad, really really bad. But they were the ones who had not digest what I told them. Which was that I'm only looking forward to be friends, not more. And some really are willing to wait; No matter how many times I've encouraged them not to.2. guilty about friends.I haven't been spending time with them, going out and have fun. I miss all of them. If only I have plenty of time. 3. guilty about family.Same thing, I haven't had the time, too. And this is really bad. ): I should be spending MORE time with them. Okay, theres more but I'm not gonna list down every one of them.-----------------------------------------------------------------
I know I'm really late but to every single person out there,HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO YOU!
And so, I had 20 cuts on my fingers due to folding of boxes at work in the afternoon. And it never was a good idea indeed to eat using fingers. It stung badly. I have goosebumps looking at them. Its disgusting. Work was.. okay I guess. Though I was given cold shoulders, at some point of time. Tolerable, tho. But yeah, I tried my best not to let the sensitive part of me take over. I'm trying my best to be strong, now. Tho I did complained to bestfriend. Cuz there was this time, I really couldn't hold any much longer. I thought I almost broke down. But lucky I didn't. So, still strong, maybe...Had a major headache awhile ago. Nausea, too. Its really the WORST combination. But lucky, I didn't puke. I tried to hold it and took a lil nap after swallowing panadols which took quite some time for the effect to start. I'm fine now.
Random note : DAVID ARCHULETA IS REALLY SO HOT. *drool
Saturday, January 24, 2009
WTF to you. [Just rants]
Lately, my parents have been treating me unfairly. I hate admitting, but I am jealous. I had to buy almost everything(except school books) using MY money whereas my bro is enjoying himself spending my parents money. See, the thing is, I'm only working part time. I only get 3.50 per hour. Its just not fair! My bro is like earning more than a thousand yet, he get this type of treatment. Free cigarettes, free phone, free this, free that. And whats worst was when he asked 50 bucks from mum and dad to have bbq with his friends! Mum gave him 30 bucks and dad gave him another 50. Thats fucking 80! NOT 50! What the fuck. Okay, thats not the whole point. The whole point is this fucking conversation I had with dad.Me : Can you send me to popular later? I wanna buy book.
Dad : what book?? how much???? (looking a lil bit pissed)
Me : STORY BOOK LAH! I use my money buy lah later! (sarcastically)
Later....
Me : *call* Dad, can you buy me a super glue?
Dad : (sound pissed) ah ye lah. if i see i buy.
Me : *hang up* So I text my dad, saying "no need to buy. I use my own money buy."Like wtf lor. Its really a pain in the heart! Yes, I did brag sometimes but thats like once in a blue moon, unlike him. :( And I didn't even get a chance to buy school shoes. I hate them but at the same time, I love them. D:
Friday, January 23, 2009
WHAT A DAY!
I was on my way to school a while ago but I changed my mind and head home instead. The only reason was cuz it will be the second time late. Second time means call parents. And the third time will be detention. God I hate detentions especially when the teacher whom I damned since sec two will be the one monitoring us. Whats worst was that we had to do essay. Its hideous. She's hideous. A hideous monster. Sadistic one too. She shows no mercy, at all. Her nagging are a nightmare to me. Her facial expression is a pain to the eye. I'm missing lots of lesson lately. The only reason was cuz I don't wanna be late. If only she died of an accident. Okay, apologies for the ranting. Oh and whats even funny was when I wanted to take a cab to school. There was a que of taxi waiting to be hired. I thought it was my luck-not! Neither one knew where is New Town Secondary. It was a blessing in disguise. Damn it. And one of the taxi driver was being rude to me. He looked at me like as if I had no money to pay for the ride. Whats so rude was when he said, "You cannot see ah??? How can I move infront?" Well let me tell you mister, you can just signal the only taxi behind you to reverse. It ain't that hard, dumbass. Oh and to all the taxi driverS who don't even know where the hell is New Town Secondary and thought that New town is at Newton, you can all just change job! WHAT THE FUCK!? A taxi driver who don't even know where it is? You should study the map first before being a taxi driver. Damn. What a luck. I guess Imma just continue movie marathon. I watched Twilight, Wild Child & She's The Man last night. Wondering what shall I watch today.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I just can't resist you.
People around me thought that I lied being single. Haha. Because its just unbelievable, I know. Well I guess staying like this longer won't hurt. Its awesome to be single. Though sometimes, I do feel lonesome. No, not literally lonely. Just that I don't have a special someone to go through life with, yet. I'm strong now. Its redundant to have a boyfriend, anyway. I'm still waiting for Mr Right to come. I just want to have someone whom I can love till the end and not let go. I want someone who I really WILL love, with all my heart and will be sure that he will love me back, too. Meanwhile, I'm having a rather good life now. Though I can't avoid having certain problems (Life ain't perfect, neway).. But overall, everything is going just fine. School is going smoothly. But I have to admit that I hate HOMEWORKS! urgh. D: Driving me crazy. Thanks everyone who never fail to make me laugh. I LOVE YOU ALL BABES! :DIts almost 12am and I'm still up, blogging. wtf. If this continues, I never will be able to wake up earlier and have a proper breakfast. Damnit. Then what am I supposed to do? I planned to sleep at 11 but was too obsessed with watching Twilight that I didn't even check the time. HAHA! whathefcuk. I need a break.And I have to go to school no matter what. I will be a good girl. I AM going to change. I have faith in myself.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
OHMY.
Apologies for being inactive. Have been busy with school & work. Literally have no time.. ):I enjoy going to school now thanks to everyone who always makes me smile :D ![[ku.jpg]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UwClT9gEo44/SXCwJXPSVZI/AAAAAAAADN8/dTf72rmd83g/s1600/ku.jpg) I want everyday to be like that. Full of smiles, full of laughter.
I didn't know that you would go this far, really. You don't have to make such rumors about me. I thought only GIRLS love to do that. But boys too? You've got no balls, dude. Whats your motive? I don't get it why some people wanna try so hard making others hate me. I'll let karma take its place, then. I can't wait to meet you and see your fucking shock & guilty face. HAHA! I swear it will be the joke of the day.
PS : I was a fool to have fallen for you. I swear I hate you now.Being single is the best, after all. :D
Friday, January 09, 2009
:)
Went online and saw my offline messages sent by Ph. It made me weep for awhile. Sudden gush of emotions came. I'm elated. Though the feeling of regret is still there. Now, I've learnt not to be one sided. I hope everything will be how it used to be. My bad habits of not going to school is arising, yet again. Damn it. Time flies, really.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
ah......
What a great day, today :D
School was normal.. Draggy & forever boring. After school, went to pizzahut and treat my friends. The bill was $54.75. Paid 50 bucks. 5 dollars was forked out by Yusnor. After that, went to hang out for awhile. Did half of my homework. After that, planned with others to go swimming? Haha! I know its weird. Actually planned to go tomorrow. But we were too excited. All of us weren't even ready/prepared. So, me and Farhanah went to her house to get extra pair of clothes and etc. Swam till around 1 hour. After swimming, chilled for awhile and headed home. It have been ages since I went swimming! So, suffered cramps here and there.
Everythings getting better in school. I'm a happy girl now. Well...... almost...... :) But atleast I don't need to pretend that much nemore. I hope everything will turn normal, friendship wise. I'll treasure friendship now. I can't bare to lose anyone anymore. Because friends are the ONE who will make us happy. Besides family, ofcourse. Having friends by my side now, makes me feel that I don't need to have a boyfriend. But that doesn't mean I will be single forever. Just that its not the time now. I wanna spend every minutes, every seconds possible with the people I cherished. I love you all.
Neway,HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN SHIDAH!
And happy belated, Val. :D
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Everyday is blue.
Everything didn't seem to go the way i want it to be. No one appreciates what I did. No one. Not even my parents. What more, friends and... acquaintances. No one showed their appreciation at all. I guess I'm not needed.. Why am I even born to this world? Now I know I sound so.. emotional. No one could feel me anyway.I've been meeting hypocrites nowadays. I still can't accept the fact that she twist the story and made me look bad. I want to confront her but he didn't allow me to. Cuz he don't wanna see us fight. I can't understand why people are having sympathy for such people. Yes, I'm jealous. Why can't I even get over it? Urgh. Babe, why are you trying so hard to make people hate me? Are you satisfy now? Oh and btw, you don't have to pretend to be good to me. Hating people is just not me. Even bestfriend asked me why must I bother to get her a present on her birthday. But the worst thing that happened this year was when my own dad mentioned that I was worst than my two siblings. Dad, I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I know I'm not even close to one. I'm rebel, yes.. I know. But you don't have to say that.. Cuz i have feelings too, dad.
Monday, January 05, 2009
F!
Ciaos!Qué pena. ¡Usted es tal hipócrita! School have been draggy for me but I have to throw away my unwanted attitude now. N levels will be in few months time and its time for me to really buck up! I can't afford to slack anymore. I'm thinking of working till June, then pause and continue again on either October or November. I miss Zakee so much. But I guess I was forgotten. I thought things have gotten better but no. No text or call from him few days back. I guess its a goodbye then. Words are cheap, ey?Almost everything have turned rotten & sour. I'm sick of this feelings. I have no one, no one to share my rants/sorrow/stories/happiness with now. It used to be my bestest best friend or best known as darling but well, we've grew apart now. I miss her. And no more gf to cheer me up when I'm down. No more, no more. I miss both of them. People come and go, like said.I need a hug. I need a shoulder. I need a pair of listening ears. But no one had offered me.Whats worst when someone eventually told a different story and trying to make other people hate me for my wrong doings which never exists at all. I guess I was too generous and kind ey? I let people step on my head. And I do forgive people easily. Cuz I believe that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. But I guess I was stupid and too soft hearted. I can't hold it any longer. Heart gonna break any sooner. But I will stay strong and put a big smile, pretending everything's fine. But can I possibly do IT? )':
Thursday, January 01, 2009
I'm here to brag!
Now I have my own personal hairstylist/groomer. :DHe's also the hairstylist for Mrs world, Ms Singapore and my sister. Okay, maybe I shouldn't brag so much. Haha!So today, woke up early in the morning to get ready for the appointment at 11am. Had my haircut, treatment and colour. My hair is shorter, black and better now. And mum spent over 400+ almost 500 bucks. I feel good yet guilty tho. After going to the saloon, we went to malay village. Had our lunch there. Was supposed to work at 5. But i couldn't make it. Mum, too, didn't allow me to work cuz I'm schooling tomorrow and I'm not ready yet. Reached home at around..7? I was hungry so mum ordered pizza from Pizzahut. So, to top it all off, I was pampered alot today. Hella spoilt brat!
PS : I love you mum, I love you dad. xoxo
!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2008 had ended. Welcome 2009!Resolutions : To change myself and be a good girl. xoxo
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