I miss 125z. I miss the helmet. I miss speeding off to work and holding on to him tightly. I miss Zakee. :(
I'm trying hard to avoid him to prevent more problems, grudges, misunderstandings and so on. Though I know he's insanely in love with me. No, I never meant to brag... Oh dear, what have I done. But what to do.. I already predict that this will happen after knowing that he's a friend of my ex(past two years). And I know very well that he will instigate him.
Neway, I've been single for a month. And not looking forward on starting a new relationship. Cuz I'm not ready yet.
Sorry for being MIA here for 8 days. Haven't had the mood to blog lately. So here's gonna be a quick update and few pictures.
The Xmas party held on 26Th at Greenridge Pizza hut was fine. Though I was a bit tipsy... And made a small mess in the toilet. Thanks to my forgetfulness and tipsiness, I left my wallet, jacket & make up which I just bought at Sasa before going to the party. Tsk. Its a good thing that I let my best friend keep my valuable stuff.. Though I can't have my makeup back now. I burnt a hole in my pocket on that day. Sad to say, I'm only left with few dollars in my ATM. Now I have to wait for my next pay which will be in on the 7Th.
School will be re-opening soon in less than a week! I'm still on the holiday mood and not even prepared for it. :(
I had to attend an event to support my lovely sister on the 28Th December. My Sister was one of the participant in Ibu of the year 2009. She came in 1st runner up. The sad part was that she's supposed to be the winner but due to some problem and thanks to the big mouth lady, she was sacrificed and had to be the 1st runner up instead. Didicazli, Nurul from KL, Addy(cradle) and Suhaimi was present at the event. And Mrs world/universe and Singapore was too. I lost my chance on taking a photo with the celebrities. What a waste. But the good part is that I manage to get their pictures with my camera. But the pictures are in my memory card. Its with sister now.
I managed to capture a video of them singing too but its in sideways. So Imma just post a couple of them.
Sunday, December 21, 2008 Hmph!
I so can't wait for countdown with Shidah! :D And Wednesday out with her too! "Girls"! Only we know eh Shidah?
Pizza Hut have been really busy these few days. Pity Shidah though. And I feel guilty for not being able to help her much. Smoke break, smoke break, smoke break..... SHEESH! How unthoughtful of me! Trying my very hard to quit tho. :( Cutting down.
Pay is in and I have to go on a budget now! Tsk. And I'm still thinking if I should go shopping for the 26th and 31st. Should I? If only I'm a millionaire... Then I shouldn't even have to worry bout money.
Ps: Why am I feeling shitty nowadays? :(
Thursday, December 18, 2008 This is life.
I'm just a girl. And I know I'm not perfect, and not even close to being one. I have many flaws. Inside and out. Some people can accept it, but some can't. Yes, I do have bad history. But that doesn't mean one can't change. Everyone can. It all matters in the mind & heart. If they put their heart and soul in it, I'm sure they can. As for me, I know I've been repeatedly making the same mistakes. But as from today onwards, I'll trydo my best to change and not make the same mistake again. Cuz I'm sick and tired of it. Being known as a player isn't a good thing. No, it isn't.
Thank goodness I met a guy who's able to change me. From worst to bad and maybe bad to good. He's sincere. Cuz even after knowing bout my pasts, he refuses to leave but stay & correct my mistakes. Everything was unexpected.
Even though everything seems to get better, there's still some problems which have yet to be solved. Which is giving me a real headache lately. I've been losing friends nowadays. Well, I guess only true & sincere friends will stay, care & listen to you. Only true friends will listen to your every problems and correct every mistakes you did. And only true friends will try very hard to solve the problem between you & him/her. Not leave after knowing he/she did a mistake. One thing for sure, everyone makes mistakes. Not even a single soul is perfect. No, noone.
FUCKING PILE OF SHIT!
I'm having a massive headache. Made a mess in the toilet. Vomited. Headache won't subside. fuck.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008 Caught in a spider web.
Loads of things happened all at once. I'm at a losing end of losing my 3 years best friend. Whereas, love life is getting better! Though there is something to settle with someone. So, to top it all of, life is rather...confusing.
Why can't I just have a peaceful, carefree life? Why must I face alot of problems? Why must I go through many obstacles? :( I really hope everything will subside and I can live my life like any other typical human.
Monday, December 15, 2008 Confusion is nothing new.
Yesterday was nice! Not gonna elaborate much but will just upload the pictures. Picture speaks louder than words! :D
Okay, so recently, I learnt something from experience. Its to be myself around people and don't pretend to be someone else I'm not. If the person is sincere, he or she won't bother bout how I brought myself up. And if he or she don't like it, why should I care? And no, I'm not gonna change anything bout myself to fit your criteria. No, not referring to anyone in particular.
PS : words can't bring me down.
Saturday, December 13, 2008 Bored.
Sentosa outing was canceled. Plan changed & Matt told me we're heading to Lau Pa Sat instead. Told him I was broke. Most probably going somewhere else instead.
Life's getting really really boring & draggy. Nothing interesting happened at all. I miss my cousin & my used to be close friends, really. Hope to go out with them soon. (Thats if they still remember me!)
Farhanah, lets go out on a date. We be lesbians for a day. We go to downtown east and scream our lungs out and laugh out so loud and eat as much as we can till our stomach burst and pretend we're 10 years old and and and... oh shit. I miss my childhood days! :(
I think I'm gonna ask my parents out today. Cuz I'm really bored now and I miss going out with them, being pampered and all.
Down/Blue.
I'm getting bored with life. Dating & meeting new guys is getting boring. The fun lasted only for awhile. Happiness too. Its like, there's no destination/goal at all. I'm confused myself & I know I'm starting to fall for him and he knows it too. But I'm just afraid to fall in love. So paranoid. So scared that I'll have to go through lots of pain and end up hurting myself again(figuratively!).
So life has no determination or destination at the moment. I'm just living life like a normal, typical girl. Neither enjoying or detesting. Aimless at all. Hate it!
Work is the only thing that is able to distract my mind.
Couples holding hands, places to go Seems like everyone but me is in love I signed my letter that's sealed with a kiss I sent it off, and just said this I know exactly what I want this year Santa can you hear me? I want someone to love me And someone to hold And all I want is one thing Tell me my true love is here He's all I want, just for me Underneath my Christmas tree I'll be waiting here Santa that's my only wish this year
Friday, December 12, 2008 Busy/tired/boring day.
Its boring probably cuz I didn't meet him yesterday. BTP(bt timah plaza) was way different from Greenridge. Tho they offer the same menu and everything else(except for the salad), the environment, people & customers are different. I still prefer Greenridge, no matter what. Everything is better & I feel much more comfartable there.
After work at BTP, went to Greenridge for awhile to do the time roster. I was relieved, knowing that Fad(manager) will do the time roster for next week. :D
And the good news is that Zakee is going to apply job as rider at my place! I'm so loving it!
I miss him so much and I really hope to meet him today. :(
Moving on... After doing the time roster, dad fetched me. Went online and laid on the bed. Fell asleep for a moment. Woke up around 3am and recieved a msg from him. I was surprised cuz I was actually hoping for him to text me. Probably cuz he have the feelings too? He called me but I lost my voice in the middle of the conversation :(
Thursday, December 11, 2008 Better in time.
Free breakfast early in the morning yesterday! :D Sent by Zakee. Its the first time getting this type of treatment..
After breakfast, slept for awhile and woke up at 2pm. Bathed, got myself ready and met Farhanah at clementi to pass her the capo she wanted. Then met Zakee and off to my work place. We were caught in rain. :S Had lunch at the banquet and went in to work.
So today will be working at Bt timah plaza's PizzaHut outlet. Probably cuz of insufficient staff. :( Lucky I'm not alone tho.. I hope everything will be fine later.
Ps : I miss him!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008 Enjoying every bits.
Today was great! Spent the afternoon with Zakee, a macdonald rider whom I just got to know. He's really sweet. First, headed to yew tee & meet him around 2.30pm. We had no plans on where to go so we headed to Lot 1. After walking around, we went to his aunt's place and then to west coast park. Riding with him was nice. Comfortable but my legs were cramp :S But its okay. The cramp only lasted for a while. Though we didn't really go anywhere, I enjoyed every minute of it. Might be going out with him again tomorrow. vroom vroom~~ :D I'm starting to miss him. So looking forward to go out with him again!
4 more days to sentosa outing!
Okay, so today work was fine but something bad happened. Its ok. Not gonna bother bout it. Joked around with the cutie, Shidah. Haha! Its fun disturbing her. Enjoyed working with her, really :)
Monday, December 08, 2008 Blah!
I'm enjoying life right now. Got my first pay & spent all of it already. Bought myself a pair of Havainas sandal & a dress for this Sunday's Sentosa outing. Can't wait! I'm broke now and thinking if I should ask for my money back from those people who owes me. I'd be rich for a moment if I do! Should I? Cuz I'm in need of cash! damn it.
I'm facing alot of things at the moment. But am not gonna bother bout it. Its Holidays after all! I have to enjoy every moment I can.
So, planned with cousins to have a sleep over & cousin outing next two weeks. Not confirmed yet though... But I know its gonna be fun.
I really need to renew my wardrobe. I need to stock up! how? I really need a temp job.
Friday, December 05, 2008 Misunderstandings.
In the night, I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul to a woman so heartless.. How could you be so heartless?
Go do whatever you want. So am I to be blamed? Okay, so maybe I was in a wrong from the start to just go with the flow. But it was really unexpected. I admit mistake. But don't ever think that everything was all my fault. I'm tired. Give me a break, please. And just remember that this problem is only between me & you. I don't mind if your friends care for you but its none of their problem/business. And thanks for making my reputation drop. "Thanks reena you never choose to believe my love was real!"
You don't even understand me. All I asked was just to start over again, as friends. I didn't mean everything have to be put to a stop. But your attitude is making me change my mind.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008 Yesterday, filled with loads of love & laughter.
The title says it all. Not gonna elaborate much. Pay will be in in less than 2 days. I'm so excited!
I wanna spend some quality times with my bestfriend & friends and do some catch up. Cuz I sincerely miss them. ):
Didn't work today cuz dad says he couldn't fetch me. So, took the opportunity to rest throughout the day. I'm knackered! Haven't had enough rest this whole week.
I really really really can't wait to go shopping with my most beloved bestfriend! He's the best when it comes to fashion cuz he have good tastes! :D
Monday, December 01, 2008 On Cloud Nine!
The bbq turn out to be nice! :D Its a good thing I went there or else I won't get to know him. Life's getting better & better as days passes by. Imma happy lil girl!
5 more days till my pay is out. Then, I'll be more than happy! I love my life now. Cuz I got what I want & I don't have to pretend to be happy, nemore. (well I hope this will last. If not, then I guess my life was cursed.)
This was so candid!
Ghost hunting.
(I was cold actually. Was hoping someone would hug me. haha!)
