Sorry i haven't been posting a REAL post, lately. Well, maybe i should start posting bout my life again. And i swear it's going to be boring. Don't bother reading if you are not ready to suffer the boredom. HAHA. click the x button on the top right corner, i reckon.
what's this emptiness i'm feeling? Is it because you're gone? But you're not really gone. You're still here but you can't fill my heart like you used to. I feel the hollowness in my heart. What's this feeling again? Why are the tears still coming out, eventhough i'm happy? Is this tears of joy then? But it's irrelevant. I'm not blissful that he's gone. Oh dear, it's so confusing. Life is.
So can i sign up for classes for acting? Haha. I sound like a drama queen.
Well, i haven't been eating these few days. No appetite probably..
Restart
He clicked the restart button. I wouldn't want to elaborate that. I had enough with love. He'll come back if he love me. :) And i'll just.. wait.. I'm still loving him, no matter what. :)
A strangled smile fell from your face It kills me that I hurt you this way The worst part is that I didn't even know Now there's a million reasons for you to go But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance Believe that I can change I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work You gotta let me inside even though it hurts Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see" She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know that I've let you down And if you give me a chance And give me a break I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt That I'd be lost without you and never find myself Let's hold onto each other above everything else Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes To turn this around I know what's at stake I know I've let you down And if you give me a chance and believe that I can change I'll keep us together whatever it takes
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Its a dedication i made on a radio. Sorry if its not clear but it says " a song dedication from reena to hamdan. Things haven't been right since he came back to singapore but i still love him. with love, reena."
So, this is the song i dedicated :
song dedications yet again
You don't even hold me like you used to hold me And that's the way you could've made all the things you told me Yeah, yeah I remember when you told me you'd never lie to me I can't believe I trusted you I sacrificed my time and my heart I gave you my all and what you do
You stepped on me, you walked on me Boy you left your Footprints on my Heart broken crying over the way you left your Footprints on my Heart aching you ran all over me and left your Footprints on my heart My heart
I know the way you were before me And I was crazy to think you'd change I put up with your attitude Your selfish ways and your childish games (whoa) A good heart always ends up broken But overtime, it'll make me strong I'ma put the pieces back together Might take some time, but I just go on
Love me or leave me I don't mind My heart can't take this pain We had something so beautiful But now it's not the same So I gotta let this go Gotta take back the truth This situation makes no good for me I can't believe I let it happen like this I just sat back while you
You stepped on me, you walked on me Boy you left your Footprints on my Heart broken crying over the way you left your Footprints on my Heart aching you ran all over me and left your Footprints on my heart My heart
PS: no, i didn't want you to leave... But if you had to or you want to, i can't help but let you for i want you to be happy. I'll wait for you.
If love is a game for you, I'll play it hard.
So now, you roughly now how i feel. You dislike me being close to guys but how bout you? You expect me to understand you but do you ? I've trusted you, but you can't even trust me.. You're making things more complicated. You're tangling up the problem while I'm trying to untangle it. You gave up so easily. When you say "do wateva u wish", does that mean its over? Let me ask you again, would you like to take my hand and start this over or just give up everything?
Feels so Different Being Here I Was So Used to Being Next to You Life For me is Not the Same There's no One to turn to Dont know why i let it go too far Starting over it's so hard Seems like everywhere I try to go I keep thinking of you How Do I Breathe without you here by my side How will I see when your love brought me to the light Where do I go when your heart's where I lay my head When your not with me, how do I breathe
Boy, Im Losing my Mind Yes, I made a mistake I Felt That you would be mine Guess the joke was on me This is so bad I can't sleep I Wish I Knew Where You Could be
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
To Hamdan, I wouldn't know if you wanna waste your precious time reading this shit but there are things I want you to know. I just can't go yet till you've cleared my doubts but I know you won't help me. I've forgiven you for every mistakes you did and you know yourself that no other girls would have forgiven you that easily if they were me. They'd hate you. Its funny how I still love you after all those shits you did to me. I gave in so easily. But you have no idea. You wouldn't forgive me just because I disrespect you and that drives me crazy. That's just bullshit. My instincts are telling me that you're just finding some reasons to make me go. And i know that your friends are insulting you because you're with a 15 year old. You could have stood up for your own rights but you're just a coward. So much for my happy endings. I guess happy endings only happen in fairy tales. I keep coming back for more when I know I'm just torturing myself. But I just can't stop myself from falling into you. What does love mean to you? A game? It's up to you, really.
Thursday, May 22, 2008 Pictures Pictures Pictures and words.
Woke up in the morning, had a shower and head to school.
We learned how the pizza is made. And we get to eat too. FREE HEAVEN BREAKFAST.
BURP! I only ate 2 slice of pizza. barbecue & hawaiian.
Camwhored at home due to BOREDOM.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008 Welcome To My Life
Saturday Saturday Saturday. We partied all day.
Dhit's Lil cousin really knows how to camwhore. HaHa.
-Pineapple and apple. :D Bring up the brain freeeeeeeeeeeeze.
Yes, old song. But I could relate with this song. And that guy playing the electric guitar with bangs is hot.
Absent myself from school today, as planned. I'm down with flu and sore throat... ):
5 more days! (please come home soon...)
PS : Sorry if this post is boring.. But that's how it is. Boring weekend, boring holiday.
one word - WOW.
I found this in my Imeem. ahahaa. That's recording of Zuee's singing.
And this is the latest song, Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine.
Saturday, May 17, 2008 Abscence Makes The Heart Grows Fonder
Okay, so I have to agree with that sentence (or rather quote). I miss him a lot. How i wish he's coming back tomorrow. But that's not going to happen in next 8 days..
I'm staying over at my cousin's place, like usual. And hopefully, I get to watch Narnia tomorrow. But i wouldn't know who to bring along.. If only Danny is a jumper ( HAHA ). okay, that's for sure not going to happen.
Oh god, 9 more days to holiday.... ): Mum says she will give me money if I do the housework. But I dislike doing it.... I rather be a cashier than staying at home, doing the chores. It's fucking boring.
LIFE OH LIFE.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Okay, I know it's weird posting 2 posts for a day. But i just felt that i NEED to update a little bit.
I just finished reading the book. And i feel a little bit satisfied, now. Probably because I got to know what happened in the end. The ending I've been hoping for. It's beautiful, really.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Absent from school today because it's Friday. And besides, girlfriend, darling and me had already planned to absent ourselves today. My irksome teacher called me constantly. My mum and dad too. I wonder how she could bear waiting for either one of us to pick up. Aha.
I think i should start cleaning my room tonight or else mum will be fuming at me. I wouldn't want that to happen because if she does, she won't be giving me money for tomorrow, for sure. Aha.
Currently listening to radio and chatting. I'm taking a break reading that book.
I was quite jolted when i received my English paper yesterday. It's definitely inconceivable that I passed my English. Especially when i got 81/140. Aha! Though it's only 81, I'm fortunate that I've passed. Nothing else matter.
So, 21-12=9. 9 more days to the return of Danny! Life is getting a bit better i suppose. I just can't wait to see his 'Eurasian'(he likes to think he's an Eurasian..Aha) tanned skin!
I've been on diet since the past 3-4 days. I wanna lose this belly fat. I need to lose them for goodness sake! It's really a turn off. tsk. So, I didn't ate rise for these few days. I only had bread, yogurt, granola bars (the ones without calorie and fat), milk and fruit&veg juice. I'm planning to go swimming and jogging either this Sunday or after school. Hopefully girlfriend, darling or/and cousin could accompany me. I wanna have abs please. Aha.
Damn! 10 more days to school holidays and i haven't even start to save up yet. So many birthdays to think of. Mum's, Bro's, Hoching(bread-with-peanut butter-chocolate) and Darling's. How am i suppose to get them presents on their birthday? ): I guess i have to start working soon. And i need to get my hair done and filling up my wardrobes too!!! I'm dead. Hoching have started highlighting her hair white. Mira's going to highlight soon. And I'll be the next victim! Oh god, please save me. Please stop sprinkling gold dust on the rich.... Please have sympathy on me...
Enough of being a drama queen! (maybe i should sign up to be one, one day)
he's my obsession, really. HAHA!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Hold on to your words, 'cause talk is cheap.
Get to chat with him last night. It's only for a while, though. wow. Just 11 days left. And it was as if yesterday was the day he went to Taiwan. Well, I was just emphasizing on how fast time can be. HaHa. I can't wait to meet him.
Today was mundane. Nothing really happened. Girlfriend was absent. Sat with Pussy throughout the entire lesson except for mother tongue. We didn't talked much but we laughed a lot, really. HaHa.
Fuckinglicious : Peihui! Can you hear the dog barking?
So, yeah. We bitched on this two bitches. - "motor siao" and "hotdog".
I read this book entitled Where Rainbows End. Its Pussy's. The book is really nice. Well, here's the summary -
Since childhood, Rosie and Alex have stuck by each other through thick and thin. But they're suddenly separatred when Alex and his family move from Dublin to America. Rosie is lost without him. Then, just as she is about to join Alex in Boston, she gets life-changing news - news that will keep her at home in Ireland.
Their magical connection remains but can their friendship survive the years and miles - as well as new relationships? And always at the back of Rosie's mind is whether they were meant to be more than just good friends all along. Misunderstandings, circumstances and sheer bad luck have kept them apart - until now. But will they gamble everything - including their friendship - on true love? And what twists and surprises does fate have in them this time...?
Dear pine, I know you're down now due to last night. But hey, leave everything on God's hand alright. I hope your childhood friend will recover pretty soon. I know it's too late to say good luck for your test, but its not too late to say good luck for your results. :) There's no need to thank me. What friends are for. I'll always be by your side when you need someone, dear pine.
Now, take out you phone and text " BAND 5" to 73388. [giggles] 12 votes from me, currently.
Back To Basic. Absent from school today. Come on! Exams are over. Like predicted, I flunk my papers. I failed my History, Social Studies and Chemistry. Damn. I don't know what happened to me. My parents are going to be unhappy bout this.. But I'm going to assure them that i will do my very best for FYE. It's a promise.
Received a call from him yesterday while I was playing card with My, Lickable, Pussy. But i only get to talk to him for a few minutes. He's upset because i flunk my papers. I miss him alot. ):
8 days have passed. 12 more days to go.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Well, i'm going to make this a short and simple post. I just came home from my cousin's principal's teacher. Wow. I could have sworn his house is really big and beautiful. Like damn.
So, yesterday... I went to have dinner at Bedok to celebrate my sister's Birthday. But everything turned out badly. after that, my uncle send us (me and my cousin) to far east to go to cityhall. I saw my Fearghus curly(friendster friend) at the control station. Haha. He's kinda cute. Well, our intention was to 'bump' into Zuee and friends but we couldn't see them. So, we just walked aimlessly around Marina.
We took a cab to my cousin's house. I overnight there. We stayed up till 3am. And i slept till...12pm? okay.. I was too tired because there was interruptions while i was sleeping. Tsk. I'm used to it though. Haha. My cousin's lil sister cried so loud and kicked my back. =/
So, yeah. MOTHERS DAY. well, i didn't text mum to wish her when i woke up because i received an unpleasant message from her. Text big sis instead. And she said she's afraid to text mum too. But in the end, i text and wished mum because dad says mum was sad.
Celebrated mothers day at Bt Timah. I was REALLY hungry, though.
Damn. 14 more days! I miss him, like usual.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Exams are over ! and hopefully, I can go to esplanade to meet up with those people like the past :D It have been really a long time since i last went there to hang out with them. Hahaha. Tomorrow is Mother Day ! I might be baking a cake for mum. haha.
I just dreamt bout him last night. I guess i've been missing him a lil too much? Probably. The dream was surreal. God. 15 more days. 2 more weeks.
Looking back at the past... I'm sure almost everyone have this thinking that goes something like " why Reena love him when he had hurt her so much ? Aren't there alot of better guys out there? " Well, I'll be willing to answer you that question.
I love him a lot. Even though we have been through a lot of obstacles, my love for him stays the same. He did hurt me A LOT.. But he gave me happiness, too. He couldn't cheer me up when I'm down but at least he tried. I bet no other girls could abide with him. I just love him too much. Neither because of his wealth nor looks. But because he could fill the emptiness in my heart like no one could. I know he tried to be true to me but he couldn't. I could see that because he confessed everything to me when he did something wrong. Minority of guys have the gut to tell the girl that he had been unfaithful to her. Well, upon everything, I'll just leave everything to fate. Because I'm not strong enough to fight against it. But i will do my best to make this last. :)
Friday, May 09, 2008
Yesterday was fun, yet, It still suck. ):
Got a call from soulmate. His voice is really different. I miss him alot. ):
16 more days.. Time flies, really.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
MLMFCFP=Mind Licking My Fuckinglicious Cum Fuckable Pussy MIRA LIWEN MICHELLE FAREENA CHING FIFI PEIHUI. hahaha.
3 days have already passed. Well, I think I'm stronger now. Thanks to my friends. :) Now i know how important they are to me. And i'm lucky to have them as my friends.
I guess what Taufiq, the exboyfriend, says is true after all; True friends will come. And it really came.
Talking bout him.. I kinda miss him, though. Haha. I wonder how's he doing. But oh well, hope he's fine. :)
2 more papers and I'm through with Mid Year ! *phew* And i'm pretty sure I did badly.. Mum and dad are gonna be pissed because I went out almost everyday and came home VERY LATE just to study with friends but failed.
JUNE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING! What a relief. But i've made a deal with myself. I'm gonna ENJOY my holidays and after holiday is over, I'm really gonna study hard. Finals are coming in few months time. There's least time to get prepare. And in a year time, I will be sitting for Nlevels. I can't afford to fail.
18 more days till he's back. He didn't give me a call. I miss him, alot. But I don't miss him as much as last time. Probably because of what he did, recently. I still love him as much, though. :)
I don't understand why he couldn't stick to one. I mean, one is enough, right? Why can't he be true, forever? Why can't he change? Why can't he realise how much i love him? Is this.. Karma?
I'll just let fate decide if he's the one for me. and thanks Peihui for everything. :)
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Do you even know how much i love you ? Everything's like how i've expected. If i give you another chance, will you really change ? Will you love me like how i love you ? Am i not good enough for you? Haven't i sacrificed too much, already?
10:31pm
Well, everything's alright, now. I'm giving him another chance. I love him too much to let him go.. Because of love, i dared to give it another try. Yes, i was hurt, alot. But nothing else matter.. I love him, no matter what.. He's everything i needed in life. He's the one i confide in. He fills in the emptiness in my heart which no other guys could. I wouldn't want to search for another guy because i know it's not worth it. I know myself that no one could replace him. This statement is true for now. It's the strong feeling i'm feeling. It's an instinct, probably. I'll stay strong. I WILL hold on to him.
He's going to Taiwan later at 2 am. I've already started missing him.. But it's a good thing that i have school to keep me busy. I'm going to be a good girl and wait for him like how I did before we were together.
I just got to know that he lost his money and obviously, he's resolving to STEALING. tsk. Well, hopefully, he will listen to my advice.
Oh, and thanks pine.. I will do my best in guiding him to the right path.
This is what mum surprised me just now - a pair of earing. Well, it might only be earing.. But I appreciate it though :) Thanks mum.
Putih, My bestfriend, My sister, My companion. :) This Picture is for PINE ! :)Pineapple grape. wait. Who's gonna be the Grape, dear pine? HAHA.
Random.But i think it's nice because it's deserted. Haha.
Obviously, this pictures are all-ME. Haha. Well, the second picture was taken by my cousin. Candid. HAHA.
And after awhile, she joined me and we took pictures together. We were BRAINFREEZED, i suppose? HAHA. so, That's the reason for my stupid poses. I look perfectly fine, before. More brainfreeze? YES.
I MISS HIM ): I guess he's probably TOO tired? ):
Saturday, May 03, 2008
RANDOMmuch. I hate everything that happened yesterday. Well, everything AFTER i came home from school. Everything is in a mess. I miss boyfriend, alot.
Oh well, 5th may is coming. 2 more days. I'm gonna miss him more than words can say. If only he didn't have to leave me... But, it's okay. I'm gonna wait, patiently, again.
