Oh well, woke up at 4.30am this morning to cook breakfast. Nevermind bout that. Malay paper was.. hard i suppose.
Where are you when I need you? Do you even mean it when you say you love me? Why do you give up so easily ? Do you even bother bout me? Or am i just your accessory ?
01may2008 9.44 : And that feeling of doubt, it's erased.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
time really flies.
Went to Lot 1 yesterday to get my contact lenses with my parents. Text boyfriend to meet us there. He replied and told me he will be late because his mum asked him to stay for a while to have lunch. So, me and my parents went shoping for a while while waiting. We were too hungry and decided to have Pizza for lunch. Obviously, we went to Pizza Hut.
Did my last shopping for a while after lunch. I've tried to delay the time. I called boyfriend but there were no answer. I told mum and dad to go home first without me. I seek permission to wait for him. They allowed without questioning. He was really late. tsk.
We walked around the shopping center and went our separate ways after that. His friends called and asked him to meet them at town. Obviously, he went home late. Probably, CLUBBING/DRINKING. i have nothing more to say.
He said our relationship is falling apart. But whose the cause of it? Who's the one who always give excuses? *big sigh* i wouldn't want to say more. And it's a good thing that he NEVER reads my blog.
Oh well. He text me in the afternoon today while i was having lunch with my parents, grandma and Dhit's family at Zam Zam just now. He asked if he could come home today. Obviously, i told him i'm not at home and if he wants to meet my mum, he could come this Thursday.
Now, I'm waiting for his call. I'm not in the mood.
But anyway, Egg with cheese, Hot Dog, Baked Beans, Chicken and Crab meat for breakfast for Mira, Peihui, Hoching and myself tomorrow :D
Saturday, April 26, 2008
This are all the pictures taken last Saturday :D Oh well, yesterday really suck. I'm scared. ): I should have read the Caution first before swallowing it, after all. Lets just hope for the best.
And now, I don't feel good. I feel like vomiting, i don't know why.
I wrote a love letter for boyfriend. And i will give him on our 1st month. I've also wrote 2 letters for Girlfriend and Darling :)
Oh well, Life is getting complicated, i think. I'm trying to hold my heart together as it's falling apart. I could feel it tearing apart..
Sometimes, i wonder if what he's saying is true or lie.. ): i can't differentiate. I'm starting to feel this insecurities.. But I avoided spilling it all out because I don't want to have a conflict with him. I love him too much, after all. No doubt.
Exams had come and it's time for me to convert myself to studying mood. I can't let my emotions in. English exam was yesterday. Well, i think it's neither easy or hard. Malay Paper on Monday.. I guess i will be surfing the net less frequently till my exam is over.
DANNY'S GOING THAIWAN ON 5TH MAY. ): I'm dying...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I LOVE TODAY ! Party at siloso with friends and bf :) Met peihui, michelle and fifi at clementi to get the cake. and then me and peihui went to mira's house. her dad sent us there. took pictures while waiting for others. Took bus to the beach. Saw bf at 711. haha. i didn't even know he was there already. We walked to the place together. So, yeah.. around 8 pm, Gf made her wish and blew the candle on her bday cake. we wasted the bday cake. HAHA. $40 wasted. All of us were playing.. taking the chocolate cake and rub it on each other's face. then we went to bathe. After bathing, we went to take the sky ride ! hahaha. We only purchase the one-way ticket. HAHA! we persuaded for another ride back... But the people didnt allow us. ): so we had to take the bus..we head to vivo by train. Danny sent me home by bike :D haha. seriously, its great ! damn. how i wish i could ride on his bike everyday.. And i'm glad that bf could socialize with my friends. :)
I think this guy looks like my bf. HAHA.
see? HAHAHAHA.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Early 2007
Middle of 2007 February 2008 ! :D
See the changes? hahaha.
Happy 15th birthday Mira Girlfriend! I love you so much, so much. And hope you will get what you want and need in life. You're the bestest girlfriend, ever. And i hope we will never fall apart like last time. :) I will always be a call/msg away if you need me.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Life is getting complicated.
With doubts and everything.. But the people whom I'm close with are the ones who will pull me up when I'm drowned. They are all i ever needed in life.
Oh well, I'm suffering from Monday blues every week. But I love this week's Monday. It might not be the best, though. But i get to spend quality time with bf. Eventhough it's less than 6 hours, what counts is that i get to meet him. Like said before, I'm going to cherish every seconds spent with him.
Danny ♥ me, I ♥ him.
If there is Mondayblues, is there Tuesday white? Oh well, I didn't go to school because i was having a bad headache and stomachache. And i swear it feels like shit. But, whatever. Danny didn't go to camp, too. He couldn't wake up. tsk.
so, today.. Wednesdayblues, too. Test early in the morning. And Danny didn't go to camp, again. It have been like 3 whole days. He nagged at me to go to school, but still, he didn't go to camp. tsk. oh well. Now it really bothers me. Oh, and Mira Gf showed me this video of Mat Rempits* beating up a Minah Rempit**. Like wtf. It's really disturbing. And seriously, the girl was severely injured. It's too brutal and sad for me. I couldn't take it. It's like keep on haunting me. *Mat rempits : Malaysia guy bikers **Minah rempit : Malaysia girl bikers
I'm suffering from headache throughout the day because of this stuff. (tests, Bf and things that got me thinking/bothering me.)
Sunday, April 13, 2008
LONELY AND TIRING SATURDAY Just reached home 4 hours ago. Damn. I'm so tired.
So, went to overnight at my cousin's chalet. It was okay.. Except when i was left alone like a lamp post.
Reached there around 2+. My bro did a check up on our unit. He found a shit in a plastic bag. The room was not cleaned yet. So, complained, clean and went in. Waited for dhit. She was with her bf. Then, when she reached, we went to sit at the beach.. I almost cried because i felt so lonely. She was with her bf. And i was alone. Okay whatever.
Where was Danny ? repairing his bike. Oh well, then at night, around 2+am, Danny text me and told me he's coming. I was excited, really.
Waited for him for quite a long time. So, i decided to walk alone. My another cousin was with her bf.. And dhit too. I was left alone. Then he text me again and told me he's at a barbecue pit. I told him that it's up to him if he wants to come over. He kept me waiting.. So, i sat alone and star gaze. I cried, silently.
Suddenly, Danny was beside me. His friends went to sit somewhere else. I ignored him because i was quite pissed. But soon later, we got along. Oh wtf. He went drinking without acknowledging me. I faked my emotions and just laugh along. So, we went back to the chalet around 5.30+am.. Almost everyone was asleep. I sat with him at the back door. But then, i told him i should be going. So, like around 6.15am, he went off and i went in to get some sleep.
Oh, and i had to sleep on the cold floor for a while because there were no space. Soon after, mum woke up and told me to sleep on the bed. and that was like around 7am. Woke up at 9am.. and received a msg from Danny. He told me he was heading home. I was a little sad because i didn't get to meet him... I went to sleep again and woke up like around 11+am. Showered and pack up.
Webcamed with Danny just now. He bought me a keychain :D haha. there's two. One each. :)
oh shit. I can't meet Danny for 5 days straight next week because he have jungle training. ): i guess i will be alone again..
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Sorry for not updating. Busy, lately. I lost my phone again. Fuck shit. Life is really pushing me to the end. I might fall of anytime, really. But i've force myself to hold on, and not let go. Thanks to my beloved friends who will always be there for me.
i love you, Amirah, Peihui and Farhanah.
I really don't know how to show my appreciation. Without you guys, I can't even imagine what i will be. I want things to stay this way. And if possible, I want our bond to grow tighter and firmer.I never want us to break apart. We will go through thick and thin, ups and downs together. :) Thank you guys ;D
-> Me, Fanah alien, Mira girlfriend and Peihui darling.
Danny and i are still going strong, together. :) Eventhough the agony is still there, I've told myself to forget bout the past and give him another chance to prove to me that he can change. :)
Sunday, April 06, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST DAD! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ! I'M SORRY FOR THE SINS I'VE MADE TOWARDS YOU.
So, went to Bugis just now. My intention was to get my dad a birthday gift. But we had to rush because we have to reach my aunt's house at 7. Met my cousin at around 5. so, we walked around and go window shopping. Knowing that there's not enough time, we went to cck. Met Danny Sayang for awhile after i bought a polo tee for daddy. Danny Sayang accompanied us to my aunt's house.
I bet he's at club now. hais. I'm starting to feel insecure. )': I'm just scared to lose him.. I'm scared that he'll be with other girls.. Oh dear.. I just have to keep on believing. But he didn't asked for permission to go clubbing ): i heard his conversation... Im afraid. I don't want him to go with other girls. I'm scared.... I'm lost. I love him. But how on earth can i tell him that i don't want him to go clubbing anymore ? I can't control his life. He usually goes clubbing before i'm with him. I wouldn't want to be the "boss". It's his life. Unless he's my husband. Then i'll have the rights to stop him. I don't want his friends to call me a "control freak". Well, Love needs trust anyway. :) it's a good thing that he don't read blog. he wouldn't know.. haha.
Have to admit that i don't like him drinking/clubbing. If i don't drink, i can't find a reason why he should be drinking. Its called fairness. But like said before, i can't stop him... But i wished to do so..... ):
Yay! i can't wait for next week! That dickhead (cousin) is organizing a chalet ! So, i'll probably bring Danny! hopefully he could come. :)
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Oh dear. I don't even have the time to update my blog. haha. That's plainly because there's nothing SPECIAL that happened to me this few days.
Oh well, I want to go out! spend time with Danny sayang ): it have been 4 days since i last met him... He's either in camp or out with his friends. tsk. When i'm free, he's not free. It's always like this or otherwise. Oh dear.. ): i miss him so much!
That's okay for me, though. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all. And if i'm able to meet him today, i'll let it out :D
I love him; more and more each day. Hopefully, he'll be my last boyfriend. I don't want to spend my lifetime with other guys. I'm willing to go through up and downs with him. Because he means the world to me. and i'm nothing, without him. He's the other half of my heart. He's part of my life.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I'M OFFICIALLY DANNY'S GIRLFRIEND. 0104'08
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
GREAT TIME OF MY LIFE :) YAY ! get to meet him after school. Gosh time flies so fast.. If only time ticks slower.. ): We met at Lot 1. Went vivo, together. Actually, we wanted to catch a movie but it's too late. So, we went to spend time together instead. :) And it feels like home again, under his arms.. we had quality time, together.
Wouldn't want to talk bout what happened last night after i reached home.. Only hanifine knows ): and its very disgusting. i swear. tsk. But i'm okay now, i think. gosh. Thanks Hanifine. :) and no, i swear it wasn't april fool.
So today, stayed at home. My body is restless.. GAWD! i miss april fool ):
Here are lyrics from some songs, combined together to elaborate my feelings towards him :) I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
And all my life I've prayed for someone like you And I thank God that I, that I finally found you All my life I've prayed for someone like you And I hope that you feel the same way too Yes, I pray that you do love me too
Were you real, and were you here? What is this feeling that i fear? Open up and make things clear, did you love me?
I was waiting For the day you'd come around. I was chasing, And nothing was all I found. From the moment you came into my life, You showed me what's right.
And that feeling of doubt, it's erased. I'll never feel alone again with you by my side. You're the one, and in you I confide. And we have gone through good and bad times. But your unconditional love was always on my mind. You've been there from the start for me. And your loves always been true as can be. I give my heart to you. I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you.
