I LOVE YOU, HAMDAN. Slept at 4+ am just now. Waited for his call actually. text him and told him i'm going to bed. He called and asked what am i doing up so late. he also asked if i waited for him. I said no :P
So today, woke up at 9am.. Go online. He IM me. awww. He's the sweetest thing on earth. :)
him : u stay up late for me? im so so so sorry.. me : errrrr... sort off... its okay :) him : no. its not okay me : why not ? him : i will make up to u k. i feel guilty me : naaah, its okay sayang. haha. dont need to be.. him : baby...im sorry. u noe i love u alot me : its okay :) i love you alot too dear.
Oh dear, I'm glad to have meet you. I've never been this happy before.. Thanks to him, i've changed. From worst to bad to good. :)
Thank you, Hamdan. I love you so much, so much.. The amount of stars in the night sky will resemble how much i love you. The amount of rain fall will resemble the tears i shed for you. How could i ever tell you not to go ? how could i ever tell you to stay like this, forever ?
All My Life I Prayed For Someone Like You And I Thank God That I..That I Finally Found You And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger You're All I'm Thinking Of I Praise The Lord Above For Sending Me Your Love I Cherish Every Hug I Really Love You You're All That I Ever Know, When You Smile All My Face Always Seems To Glow, You Turned My Life Around, You Picked Me Up When I Was Down, You're All That I've Ever Known.
COUSIN'S FESTIVAL AT REPUBLIC POLY. damn we missed her first dance. But we get to watch her malay dance though. She did great ! :) So, after that, went to eat at Mr teh tarik coffee shop. Mum fetch me home.
I was supposed to meet him today,actually ): And now he's at clark quay. I dont know what he's doing there though. But i just have to trust him. :) I dared, because i love him. How i wish i could tell him how deep my love for him is. How i wish things could stay like this, forever. I never want to spend my life, searching for another guy like him again ): I want to be with him, only. No one else. I swear this is really true. Oh dear... )':
I hope i can meet him tomorrow. I really miss him like urdhivccvev. you get what i mean. I'm just not good with words.
Anyway, It's a good thing to see pei hui darling in love again :)
Friday, March 28, 2008
THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! :)
this will be just a short post, though.
He called me in the morning yesterday, saying that he'll be coming home in 10 more days. So, i was like.. so.. um.. sad... ): But in the afternoon, when i was going home, he called me using his house phone. i was so shocked ! :D i almost shouted.. I was overjoy !
Oh dear, i'm so glad that you came back safely. i miss you so much, so much. :)
Meeting dhit later.
i love him so much :') how i wish this will last.. How i wish he will stay. I don't want to be with anyone else except him. He's EVERYTHING i needed in life. I love you, HAMDAN :)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
NEW BLOG SKIN. haha. okay. i know it's simple. I spent two nights to finish it. And i'm still not satisfied. oh well.
Okay. School life is getting crazier ! ): So much homework.. tsk. Like usual, i get headaches often ):
I swear i laughed alot with farhanah. haha ! she's my laughing machine.
Fanah : BEEP me : BEEEEEBOOOOBEEEEEBOOOOOO
and trust me, we can't stop talking bout aliens and shuffling. HAHA! and it spreads so fast like lightning. Almost everybody starts to follow us too. Okay, got to admit that i was bored. haha! but talking bout this stupid things just make me laugh :D
Oh, i just notice that time really moves faster than i thought. Gosh! the minute i look again, i just realise that it's only 3 days left! Oh dear, i can't wait to meet you !
three more days three more days three more days.
And 4 more days to April ! how fast is that ? oh no ! 4-5 more weeks to mid-year. Now, i really have to buck up. Oh screw, i need a tuition teacher to teach me maths thanks to the slow, old teacher. tsk. i miss mr koh ! the hairy hot guy. HAHAHA ! wtf.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
SENTOSA OUTING WAS CANCEL AGAIN ): Raining heavily & peihui couldnt come. aww. Nevermind, it's okay. I went to Sis house instead.
Saturday, 22 March 2008 AH ! i love yesterday :) Went out with dhit. We met at Far East first. I went to apply job. Then we went to Vivo by bus. Camwhored while waited for Edina. Dhit's boyfriend was at the arcade. So,after meeting Edina darling, Dhit left us and went to meet her bf. ( got to admit that i was pissed. but its okay. )
Okay, so me and Edina sayang walked around vivo. We could get along pretty well. We made jokes and laugh out loud so hard! HAHA!
I love EDINA, the tetek kecik girl ! :D
We exchange things too :D She had my guitar pick, I had her badge ! :)
So, everytime i open my wallet, i'll laugh out loud because it brings me back to the past. XD
If only she's my neighbour ): I want to meet her again !
Oh yes, kita buat chinggay kay edina ? haha! kat mana ah ? MARINA PARADE eh ? :P
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Today ? I didn't go out. Need to finish up homework. Playing neopet from just now. haha ! Edina ! budak kecik eh ? hehe.
Oh well. I miss him so much ! ): 8 more days ...
Thursday, March 20, 2008
BORING.
today is okay, i guess. Laughing almost all the time. Thanks to Friends :) I love you guys. Oh well, there's two tests just now. Social Studies and History. They suck.
I need to go to the doctor. I'm having headaches EVERYday. oh man. This sucks this sucks !
Went to town with cousin just now.. I only bought hotdog & ice cream. Walked at Far East (the last time i get to meet him) ): well, not the last time, though. but, yeah. you get what i mean.
10 more days 10 more days ! **
LATER ?
Sentosa outing. Peihui & Mira have yet to comfirm ): i really hope they could come. Raiyan says he might be going. asked him to bring along friends. Farhanah ? :D probably coming ! haha. oh well..
hope they will come... ):
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
New change ?
Well, i think my attitudes have changed over the days. And i don't feel like "me" anymore.. But i prefer it now, though. :)
I've been going to school & back from school early, nowadays. I did my homeworks. I studied. I tried to be close with my parents. I tried to minimize the vulgarities used(haha)
To those who know me, you will realize the change. :)
Sec 3 life is different. Studies are getting tougher. I wouldn't want to slack anymore. Study now, enjoy later :D
I've been having headaches nowadays.. It's painful, really. ):
I miss hanging out with my friends.. I miss the old times. The times we used to gossip together..Laugh together..Eat together..Go to school & back from school together.. Oh, memories.. Please come back to me.. Thinking about it makes my eyes wet. D:
And this Friday, I hope the Sentosa outing will go on ): I really want to hang out with them like last time. I hope it won't be raining.. I hope they could come..
& not to forget.. I feel like I'm drawing further from my friends.. I missed alot.. )': I feel so alone.. So empty and useless... But i just have to be strong, now... I guess it's my fault after all.. I've been spending most of the time with other things instead of hanging out with them and pulling myself closer ):
It's 12 am now. 11 more days. Oh time, please please move faster.. I can't wait to meet him. I can't wait to hug him.. I can't wait to tell him " I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU ALOT"...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
So, went out with my cousin and her family on Wednesday :D Watched Disney on ice. well, the show was not bad. it have been ages since i went there. really ! Haha. I feel like a kid again ! oh, those days...... overnight at my cousin's house. :)
DISNEY ON ICE :D
Didn't go to Sentosa on Thursday. ): it was pouring HEAVILY. awwww... But we went to BPP to have our lunch there. Did our homework and went home around 8pm.
Friday=mundane ): i went home, change (because i didn't bring extra shirt). Meet cousin at Causeway. Bought my stuffs at popular and went home because we both felt exhausted. -.-
TODAY ? errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. didn't go out at all. Sister came back from China. She bought me a Chanel & mickey mouse bag. hehe. Oh, Chanel bag is not pirated. It's original. But its just cheaper. nyahhahahah. ACTUALLY, sister bought the bag for mummy. but mummy doesn't like it and gave it to me *tongue out !
SO tomorrow ? MAYBE going to jurong swimming complex with cousin. It have been a LONG time since i went swimming. HAHA.
I MISS YOU, BABY. ): 16 more days ):
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
" Sometimes you can't have what you want but just be thankful for what you have"
Life is a mixture of lyrics, put together. Sometimes, you don't understand whats going on. And suddenly, people put the blame on you for making them like you. when it wasn't even your fault that they like you.
Life is a mess now. problems after problems. It keep on pilling up like nobody's business.
People that you call "friends" don't even bother to give a call and ask "how are you ? How's your holiday going ? wanna go out ?" and etc etc..
This is what i'm facing now. People don't understand me. They say they DO but they just DON'T. They want me to understand them but they don't understand me.
Damn my life to bits. Oh well, the only one who keeps me going and understands me is Hamdan. :)
I need you Near me now I never knew Just how
You're a part of me in all I am
I've never been more in the dark Never been this scared Never was so uncertain of what to do or speak I've never been so alone I've never been without you I've never had more than i could keep
And what I need now Is someone like you Cant believe I didnt look you up Even before I knew How you have waited for me I know now
And now Im desperate, Im calling out your name Can you hear me? Im falling I cant feel your flame It's so cold and I , I wanna go home Wanna feel your arms around me Can you hear me? Save me
Im so afraid Of who I am And I need your strength To live again
And what I need now Is someone like you Cant believe I didnt look you up Even before I knew How you have waited for me I know now
And now Im desperate, Im calling out your name Can you hear me? Im falling I cant feel your flame It's so cold and I , I wanna go home Wanna feel your arms around me Can you hear me? Save me
Can you hear me? Save me
Now put my hand in yours Cause you fill me up Fill me up And I know you'll always be there More than enough
Im desperate, Im calling out your name Can you hear me? Im falling I cant feel your flame It's so cold and I , I wanna go home its so cold and i , i wanna go home its so cold and i , i wanna go home Save me
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
this is semut kerengger hehe. (i'm sure Anip is laughing now)
NASI PATAYA SATU BANG HANIF. HEHE.
HANIF IS EMO-ING NOW. ):
I need a fucking job now ! ): i need MONEY ! i want to go SHOPPING ! oh fuck ):
20 more days and the misery will be over. I'm feeling so lonely now. No one to really talk and laugh with. No one to let out my feelings with ): No one to hug me when i needed one.... Oh well, now i know how special he is to me. he's the best companion i've ever had.If only he's in singapore now...He's the one who will never fail to make me laugh when i'm down. :)and now, i've got no one for the 20 days.
My cousin ? i don't want to make her more stress up.... My parents ? they just dont understand me. My friends ? They hadn't even call or text me to ask. )':
I just need someone to understand me.
*I never thought I'd need you there when I cried And the days feel like years when I'm alone when you're gone,The pieces of my heart are missing you. when you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too. when you're gone, The words I need to hear to always get me through the day. And make it ok, i miss you. Do you see how much I need you right now? I've never felt this way before Everything that I do, Reminds me of you. And all I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I do I give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me We were made for each other Out hereforever I know we were
p/s : we're not together, yet :) * 20 more days
Monday, March 10, 2008
Anybody free on Thursday ? SENTOSA OUTING ! :D i just need to release my stress.
I've been sleeping over my cousin's house lately. How's my Holidays ? errrr.... Okay i guess ? i don't know.. ):
He's at Thai Thai for 24 days. And its only the 3rd day. 21 more fucking days left. GOD ! that's like so fucking long.
Well, alot of things have been happening to me. And yeah, it have been fucking long since i last posted a proper post. Hehe. I'm a lazy bum, anyway. Can't deny that.
This is what i'm going to do for this week ( March hols) Tuesday - rest at home o.0 Wednesday - Watch Disney on Ice with cousin and her family Thursday - Sentosa Outing Friday - sleeping at my cousin's house again (maybe) & watching STEP UP 2 ! :D Saturday & Sunday - I don't know yet.
Yes, i've been going out lately. Hehe. Haven't even touch the homeworks yet. I fucking miss him ): He's coming back on the 31st. Hopefully i can surprise him at the airport. :]
i'm putting everything to an end tonight.I've decided what best for me.I don't care what you guys think bout me. Because the only guy i love is Hamdan.You can say i'm a bitch or whatever.Its fate that brought us together, anyway.All i could say is Sorry.But if you all were to harass me, I'll say you guys are still CHILDISH. :)Because this is what we call LIFE.
I just don't think he's the right guy for me.I need someone who can really TRUST, UNDERSTAND and LOVE me.I need someone who can hold me till the end of time.
& yes, HAMDAN was a playboy. people change. I'm willing to trust him and give him a chance. Because he showed me what's love.
He's the ONE who opened up my eyes. He's the ONE who cared about me. He's the ONE who will ALWAYS be there for me. He's the ONE who's willing to take the responsibilities. And i'm always happy whenever he's by my side.
I don't give a damn for what people think. Because all i care is just him. :) I'm stronger now because i love him.. & i dont need your fucking rude comments.
