sorry for not updating for soo long. well, i want to update.. but i just couldn't finish it. okay, got to admit that i'm lazy. ;D
okay, yesterday was my 1st month anniversary with SAIFUDDIN. and it was Aman's birthday to.
happy 18thbirthdayAMAN! hope that u will have a long life and get whatever you wished for. be happy always okay. :D
oh and i really hope that me & my boyfriend could have a longer & serious relationship. i really love him. no matter what he did to me, i won't stop loving him. and yeah, for now onwards, if we happened to quarrel with each other, i will be the one who puts up the white flag. because i don't want us to be separated. And i know that if i broke up with him, i'll regret for life. Just like what my ex say. "this chances only comes once in life. don't waste it. because if you do, you will regret." But i must have been one of those lucky girl indeed, to have a 2nd chance. I'll show him that i really do love him. for now, i promise i won't let this go. :D
Oh and i really hope to go out today. damn! i'm bored. i feel like i'm trapped in a jail or something. and i used up all my money to top up for my mum to pay my bills. wth. )X and because of this stupid thing, i'm bankrupt ! oh shoot.oh and i dyed my hair copper red. wtf. i want RED ! but my dad wont let me )X
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
okay. sorry for not updating again. erm, okay. went out yesterday.didn't go to school. Went bowling and shopping. it was fun ! ;D cousin outing ! mestilah fun ! i <3> okay. so, called boyfriend yesterday till late at night. didn't go to school today. couldn't wake up.
gawd ! i'm lazy to go to school nowadays. AVOIDING DETENTION CLASS !
& i love my boyfriend more than anything !
Sunday, October 14, 2007
it's been sooo long since i've updated my blog. (hahaha ! like as if it's FUCKING long) okay. so,
SELAMAT HARIRAYATOALLMUSLIMFRIENDS. KU MINTA MAAF DARI HUJUNG RAMBUT KE HUJUNG KAKI ATAS SEGALA KESILAPANKU. MAKAN MINUM HARAP DIHALALKAN YE. ;D
yay !! okay. i got $150 yesterday ! woooooots ! aku kaya ! aku kaya ! ahahahaha ! okay.. this is like, soo childish. uh, whatever. :)
went to have green extensions on whenesday with boyfriend. i love him ;) i miss him now !! okay, i reeaaaaalllllyyy hope to meet him on tuesday. i waaannna hug himmm !
okay. i'm going out with my aunt,uncle & cousin later. ;) COLLECT MONEY !
Monday, October 08, 2007
oooh. forget about the post yesterday, please. I think i was being childish.
okay. whatever. I THINK WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOOOOO MUCH. i just can't help it. He's just don't seem to be like last time. 4 days not meeting him feels like we've never met before.. and what's more.. Hari raya coming. I don't think i'll be as fucking happy as last years. He's always busy with his work. and he worked just to get that blllooooooddddddyyyyy psp. i wish psp never exist in the world before ):
uhhhhhh. okay... today was maths paper 1. it was okay, i guess. quite easy. BUT i couldn't figure out the last question and the question before the last question. darn ! i hope i pass though. didn't study. NO MOOD. oh, hell. please burn me now.
damn. now i'm talking shit here ! uh. okay. my posts are getting way too boring. that means, MY LIFE GETTING DULL TO THE X-CORE ! oh, fuck. no more party cuz i have to study and think about my n levels. i neeeed a bloooody fucking tuition please ! shit. where can i find it ? ):
i wanna improve in my studies and get effing great marks ! oh shit. help me, someone ? ahhh. now i'm talking like an attention seeker ! hahaha. asshole.
gaaah. so, after maths, sat with my clique and revised geography for tomorrow. but i didn't. i just sat there and listened to my music. went to jurong east around 11am. then, go to bt batok to meet kak yati. followed her to her mum's place and ate at mac XD
after that, went to clementi. uh, it was raining heavily. she sent me to the bus stop and she went to school for her EOA exam.
so, now.. i'm at home. damn. boyfriend must be sleeping cuz he didnt reply my msges. OR IS HE IGNORING ME ? uh, no ! nononononononono ! i have to think positive.
ahhh ! yesterday night, boyfriend called me and he asked me to call back. yay ! hahaha. i was freaking happy. but wtf. he asked me to open avenged sevenfold-you won't see me tonight. the song was like 8 fucking minutes sialllllll.. then when i talked, he say "u ! jgn bbl dulu.. i nak dgr lagu !". omg. ): so, i chat on msn. well, i have to admit that im freaking sensitive okay ! sheeesh. then, after the song ends, he says he wanna go home and sleep. like, wtf ? hais. nvm. atleast i get to listen to his voice. that means alot to me already. i really want to express my feelings towards him.. but i just don't know how to say it out.. i really love him.. and he means the world to me. i swear ):
a song for someone special whom i knew for two whole years. (he's no longer someone special to me. because i've thrown his love away. yes. regretted. but this song really2 suits the atmosphere & our story)
Sunday, October 07, 2007
okay. so, i'm here again for another post. :D i'm a lil bit happy now though. i msged boyfriend . & he replied ! he says that he's bathing and he's sorry. but i just replied "uh". and he text me again, saying he's sorry & he really love me. pls ? okay. i don't know. ): he seems like he don't bother bout me... or maybe i think tooooooo much ?? okay. i have a phobia now. i'm afraid to lose him....
Okay. Boyfriend toped up his card. ooh. WOW. :) he msged me yesterday. he asked me to wake him up at 8am. So, i didn't sleep. around 3am, i went down to take a stroll. It was very cold. Sat at the void deck and cried. ): i didn't bring my hp along. Not even a single soul was there. So, it was only me. i just wished a murderer would stab me. I'm better of dead anyway. and believe me, i slept for a while. and woke up like around 6am. walked to the reservoir. enjoying the breeze. Sat at the bench and looked at the sunrise. yeah. i cried again. it was really beautiful. Wishes boyfriend was beside me. Okay. i did not look at the time. it was like, 8:30 am ? rushed home and called boyfriend. but he did not answer. msged him. no reply. so, i slept. till 11am. My stomach was grumbling okay ! ): i don't wanna eat anything ! so, yeah. i'm fucking pissed off. I switched off my phone. maybe i'll switch it on when i'm cooled down. i don't even think that boyfriend cared. so, yeah. Even if i switch it on. i could bet, he won't even text me. He's always busy with his work & friends. Oh well.
okay. it's been like, 4 days since i've posted ? omg. Been busy lately.
03102007 i didn't meet him. he was sick. fever and all. ): went out with my family to IMM. err, i was damn worried with boyfriend. And i was crying.
04102007 Met boyfriend after school. i love him, deeply.
05102007 history exam. FUCK ! i did the mcq.but i didn't do the rest. i slept. :D i hate history. So, after the fucking exam, i went home. changed and went to meet kak dhit at causeway. She brought her friend, waney. & she was cool ! ate at Banquet. & off to the library.
a girl : hello. errr, alamak. lupa ah nak cakap ape. ah ! my friend, yang pakai baju merah nak kenal2. can ? u got friendster right ? yang mate ade darah2 or something like that eh ? Me : uh, yeah :D Dhit : ask ur friend come here ah.
Before he even came, we walked away XD Dhit's boyfriend called and she asked us to find him at the void deck opposite her school. um, so, i followed her. went home around 6:30pm. reached around 7:10pm ?
okay. so, after i came home, we went out again. to Jurong Point. YAY ! my mum bought me an AUTHENTIC LEVIS BLACK SKINNY JEANS which caused $130+ LAH ! XD & i went for FULL SET PEDICURE LAH ! $30 :D see how pampered i am ? damn, i'm spoilt by my parents ! oh ! i love my mum !
06102007 FUCK ! I MISS MY BOYFRIEND ! AH ! )': okay, i cried alot today. i just miss him...... woke up like, around 2+pm. i cried & cried. then, around 3pm, i bathed. my eyes were swollen. paint my room. msged him. no reply. (his prepaid low). FUCK MAN ): Then, suddenly, around 3:29pm, he msged me. "hi'!U tgh uat pe?" uh, i think he sent it to wrong person or something. i don't know ! okay. i replied, acting like i don't know anything. but he didnt replied. my sister came home. msged him again to see if he wants me to call. but still, no reply :( okay. 11:49, he msged "u,i skr ngan my kwn keje nk tgk wayang tau kat ps". like, omg. ): he acts as if he never see my previous msg ! ): he became someone whom i don't know already. ): AH ! i'm in dilemma now....... im crying again. hais.. I wonder if he really2 love me or just treat me like a doll to play with so he could forget his exgirlfriends. but he seem so good to me. i love him deeply. i just don't want to lose him. but if he wants to be with me just to use me, then, i'll back out. i just can't hold the pressure. i just want his true love. that's all i ever wanted. i want clarifications from him ! but i don't know how to ask him. look, i never felt this way before. this love is really2 deep. i THRUST all my love towards him. i don't want to be treated like a piece of junk anymore.
to boyfriend : I'm sorry if what i think about you is wrong. but i just don't understand. are u avoiding me ? you know, i really2 love you. :'( i cried alot this few days. i miss you badly now. eventhough we did not meet for just two days. but to me, two days is like 2 years. i guess u're having fun now. watching movie with ur friends. In case u don't know, i'm at home, crying. i don't want to lose you. I want your true love. can ? well, i understand that your prepaid is low lah. but u could miss call me so i could call you back what. hais.. and you worked so hard just to get a psp. ): honestly, i don't like it. Because u don't even bother about your health. & u continued to work, ignoring your sickness. i'm glad you're okay now. i won't sleep till you call me. Let's make it more challenging. how bout " I WON'T EAT TILL YOU CALL ?" yeah. i'm crazy. i'm crazy over you. by the time u called, i think i'll have fucking big eyebags & i'm only left with bones. :) I SWEAR UPON MY HEART THAT MY LOVE FOR YOU IS UNDYING.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
30 september 2007. 5:27pmthe best day ever in my whole life.yes, i'm attached to the most perfect guy i ever met, SAIFUDDIN. :D i'm happy. & yeah. i'm proud to call him my guy. i even left the guys whom loved/like me/i like. I'm owned ! i love him. i've thought it through and i want to live a life with him. he meant everything to me. he's my life, my angel & my true love. There's alot of reason why i love him. but i'll just keep that to myself. Eg. if i love him cuz he's caring & suddenly, he got into an accident and had comma, he couldn't care about me. & so, i rather not say it. but i love him for who he is. It's fated. I'm stronger now cuz i've learnt to follow my heart instead of being soft & all. went out with my love just now. met him at the bukit panjang bus interchange. he brought 5 of his friends along. i was effing late okay. & coincidentally, i bumped to simon. my exschoolmate. Took bus 700 to town. yeah ! i had to wear my school uniform cuz im lazy to go home & change. walked around far east. Then, we planned to break fast together. i actually thought of meeting my cousin at woodlands. but cancelled the plan due to certain reasons. I didn't want to eat actually. but my boyf bought food for me. omg. it's the first time a guy teat me that much okay. im happy. but i didnt eat cuz i wasnt hungry. and i felt sorry cuz my boyf wasted his money. ):i'm sorry boyfriend. i love you.After that, he sent me home. took 143. the journey was like, 1 hour + ! omg. but the ride was okay cuz i was sitting beside him. He hugged me. And i was smiling away ! he hold my hand and i gripped tightly, not wanting to let go. & he kissed me. awwwwww.
boyfriend, i really love you. i don't want to let go. i never felt this way before. this love is deep. please hold me tight and don't let me go. i'll be true to u. and hope u will too.
