Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Fuck the headache. im feeling unstable and dizzy. shivering all over. will post tmr.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
 Today i'm seriously not in the mood. I don't know why. Maybe what my classmate say is true ? My moods were like the weather after all. hais. Sometimes, im happy. Then suddenly, sad.. And turned to anger. oh gosh. why why ?? Im confused. fuck it.
I told myself i want to change but it ends up worst ! i don't know..... When i see Gf with her bf, i begin to feel jeloused. not because of them being together. But i just wished me&him were like them.
The city walk was okay. At first, i waited for mira & the rest at the Glorious Dead. Waited&waited. Finally, they arrived. Then we walked together. It was both boring and fun. Tiring too !! Half way through, met Syah&haziq&haikal. That time, Adham & the rest were at the coffee shop. so, me n gf walked with them. Then, met Raiyan&Ilham. They were eating !! omg.
So, we walked again. But we left Syah&the rest bcause they are going with Zasli and his friends. So, me,Mira,WeiKian,Ilham & Raiyan walked together. At last, we reached. 5km okay !!
After that, we went to the esplanade. Mira changed her clothes. Then, we walked . I was quite pissed off because they were walking trough n fro at the esplanade . As you know, my legs can't take it any longer.
Then, Mirul went off. So, its only left me&gf&had&ad. Walked and walked. i was fucking hungry lah !!! and feeling giddy. I actually wanted to faint but i forced myself not to. Me with my fucking attitude, walked straight to the toilet without turning back. after i went in the cubicle, i actually vomitted alot . After the disgusting moment, i decided not to meet them first. i want to rest for a while and cool down. Mira msged me and told me that adham fell down when he searched for me. Hadz made me fucking hell lot pissed off by msging me and telling me that i have make them wait like stupid ppl and made them have a hard time. sorry gf. hais. im just not in the fucking mood. oh god...
My face was very pale. And my legs were very wobbly & unstable. My eyes were blurry. My head is dizzy. My hp batt is flat. Today was very sway indeed. fuck it. I actually wanted to watch the fireworks tonight with gf&syah&hisfriends. ahh ! Got flu now because of walking under the rain. Now, i got fever ! 38degreeC man !! argh !!
Msged adham... I told him that im not suited for him. And i suck at love. and told him bout my mood swings and all. and i even told him that i hoped he found a new girl. what the fuck i am doing !!! this is soo not what i wanted. I really love him even without him seducing me. Im okay with it. but i did it again !! i don't know.. *sobs.
I just wish things wouldn't turn out to be this way. i made ppl angry with me. I dont want to break up with him. Please forgive me.
To mira :
i'm sorry for the attitude just now. I didn't mean it. It's just that im not in the mood. I'm sick. Hope that you would forgive me. I told you that i would change but i became worst. I'm a big spoiler.
a video for you-know-who
I tried to be perfect But nothing was worth it I don’t believe it makes me real I thought it’d be easy But no one believes me I meant all the things I said If you believe it’s in my soul I’d say all the words that I know Just to see if it would show That I’m trying to let you know That I’m better off on my own This place is so empty My thoughts are so tempting I don’t know how it got so bad Sometimes it’s so crazy That nothing can save me But it’s the only thing that I haveIf you believe it’s in my soul I’d say all the words that I knowJust to see if it would show That I’m trying to let you know That I’m better off on my own On my own I tried to be perfect It just wasn’t worth it Nothing could ever be so wrong It’s hard to believe meIt never gets easy I guess I knew that all along If you believe it’s in my soul I’d say all the words that I know Just to see if it would show That I’m trying to let you know That I’m better off on my own mood : sad, angry.
Going for city walk later with him & my gf. Yes indeed. Gf gave me 1 more chance to give it a try again. This time, I want us to last long. (: I'm in serenity yaar !!Okay. I'll post another again later and blogged what happened between me & her. Gaah ! im wearing my P.E t and cardigan. Match it off with my jeans & my All Star Shoe. :DMood : SERENITY
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
240707came to school late. got myself into detention class. but i actually skipped it. didn't attend dnt lessons. shut up. i know. After school, followed WL to city hall to get her bag. Then, went to west mall to eat and hang around with her exboifriend. After that, went to JEC to walk around. Took some neoprints with her and reach home at 7.15pm . played audition and slept.250707Girlfriend ignored me. Kinda pissed off. I felt as if we were strangers. our relationship is on the loosing end. All i want to do is to tie it back before it snapped. I don't want to loose her. I cried. shut up. yes ! im a crybaby. But put yourself into my shoe okay. Im deeply hurt. I love her as my own sister. She's like my mirror. We used to be very close. But it seems that she's going away. i don't know. Hais. it sucks. Read F's blog. hais. i really felt sorry for her... They're super sweet couple. They were like the love novels i've read. They're perfect. oh well, don't want to intefere. really hoped that they'll get back together again. I'll pray for them. and to the one whom u think u are the one im refering to,i'll always be your friend. I'll be by your side whenever you need me.Alot of things happened today. gosh. Quarrel with him just now. I started it. Because he didn't bother to msg me. And he gave me stupid excuses saying that hadzran told him i got ATP. even if i got ATP, he still can msg me atleast. Then, he changed his excuse telling me that he got problem and don't have time to msg me. like, WTF ?? msging only needs 1 minute. It's not like as if he's texting me a compo or something. I'm not stupid. hais.. I don't feel the love from him. in fact, i NEVER feel it. hais.. And he treated me like im just his normal, typical friend. oh hell. i just wish he could shower me with all his love.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
he's ubber cool :D and the song is very beautiful. Lyrics: Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angryCall I'm desperate for your voice Listening to the song we used to singIn the car, do you rememberButterfly, Early SummerIt's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet Like when we would meet I was born to tell you I love you And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mineStay with me tonight
Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am freshI am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh Cause every breath that you will take When you are sitting next to me Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?(What's your, what's your...) I was born to tell you I love you And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine Stay with me tonight
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home[X4] (I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have) I was born to tell you I love you And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine Stay with me tonight And I was born to tell you I love you And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine Stay with me tonight
Yesterday, my family&me went to downtown east to celebrate my b'day. We had our dinner at the Sakura restaurant. It was a buffet. 28 bucks per person. But i was quite full after eating 3 sushi of different exotic flavours dipped in soy sauce. it was super delicious. You should go and try it ! Well, i forced myself to eat as much as i could though. My mum was nagging at me. it was so not my fault okay. But i had a great fun. after eating, we went to the shops. I bought one t-shirt to match with my cardigan. It was ubber cool. and i love it. Oh well, i was super sleepy and slept straight away after i reached home. i didn't change or even take out my contacts.Today morning, woke up and bathed. Mum told me that we're going to Heig road to have breakfast. Actually, i don't want to follow. But i had no choice. I wanna avoid my mum from being dissapointed. Checked my inbox after bathing. Recieved alot of msges from my love & F. She wished me happy belated birthday. Okay, that really made my day.I just came home from my sister home by the way. Well, mum and her are okay already. I'm happy&relief. Okay. I'm just lazy to post the pictures now because i can't bluetooth it to my dad's new laptop. it sucks. gosh. Mum bought me new Silkygirl perfume & angelFit foundation AGAIN. *laugs* The perfume came in with a free lipstick. It was ubber cool ! and it's very natural&pinkish. Makes my lips silky. :D you girls should get it.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Didn't sleep the whole night. I get to see the sun rise ! and it's ubber beautiful ! Okay, today, something different happened. Got a b'day wish from my exboyfriend. Oh well, said thank you too him. reminds me of the past. But who cares ? i got mine and he got his. I'm happy for him because he had found his true love. But me ? hais .. He never even wish me happy birthday. He didn't even get me anything. Not even a kiss on my cheeks. Oh shucks.. When will i ever get my true love ? I just love him and don't want to let go of him. But he just don't care bout me. I don't know. It's really pushing me. Now, i've changed alot. I don't even bother to study. gosh.. what had happened to me ? and my attitude had become much more rebellious than before. And i even use vulgars at my friends. wth ?And sometimes, i feel like i'm childish. hais. this suck alot.. i just wish i could change overnight. Today, mummy's tired. hais.. i just wish she's okay so we could go out later. But i can't make up my mind. Should i get The Sims cd game or buy new things ? Oh well. Will continue later i guess. Going back to playing Audition. And i lvled up to lvl 8 ! oh gosh.. :D And i can't wait to go to school on monday .and finally, my bf msged me :)
Yesterday was my birthday ! coincidentally, Racial Harmony Day falls on the same day as my birthday ! and the date was really beautiful. 20072007 . it only happens once in my life. I just hope that yesterday wouldn't end so fast. I fall asleep the whnole night. and now, it's impossible for me to go back to sleep. Oh well, in the morning, i thought i was late for school because i thought i woke up at 6:40am . so, i quickly had a shower and packed my things. Then, i msged Matt. Telling him that i can't meet him because i was late. but actually, it was 5:55am . I was super paiseh. So, i set my hair and told daddy to send me to clementi instead. Met Matt around 7am. He was late. He gave me the present and we both seperated. Walked to school and met GF outside my class. We both changed inside the toilet and put on make-ups and so on. PeiHui gave me her birthday Card. It was so beautiful ! i love it. And it really Touched my heart the moment i read it. John didn't bought me anything but he gave me 9 bucks as a birthday gift. Lesson was as pernormal. Assembly was quite fun ! The ru8naways models were gorgeous.After that, i changed back to uniform . Oh yeah, before that, John threw flour at me. But it ain't that bad. After i changed, i saw Raiyan dashing up the stairs with flour on his hand. So, i ran into the cubicle. Mira, Vanessa, WenLing And PeiHui was chased after instead. HAHA ! and all accept Peihui gets flour. Mira was the worst. Her whole hair was covered with it. I was lucky though .Then, Mira and me walked to clementi to find our soulmates or "prince". After that, GF walked to clementi int together with hers. After chatting with mine, i went home. Met Abang Amer too. He gave me his present and we both parted. Had a shower and went out again. But then, no one was free. Damn. so, i bought the AngelFit 2way foundation and took a bus to Jurong. Bought 2 Karipaps ans went home. But after easting, i fell asleep.And now, here i am. Blogging in my room with my dad's new laptop. It was awesome. Maybe i will play audition later. Oh well. Going out later at afternoon to watch movie with my parents ! and maybe get new stuffs. And yeah, My boif didn't even wish me happy birthday. hais.I'll be posting the pictures of my gifts and such on the next post.
Monday, July 16, 2007
1407'07
It was a superb day and i wished it would never end. Wanna know why ? i'll tell you later. Woke up late actually. Msged A&M. My mum told us to get ready because we are going expo. so, i quickly have a shower, put on my shirt and set my hair. Off we go. I never went to expo before actually. Get to see MAWI there !! how lucky i am. Mummy bought alot of food & DURIANS !! The durians are really delicious. They are from Penang. You should go and try it. okay, back to the story. After shopping and stuffs, we went to Pasir Ris to have our dinner. Steamboat !!! yumm ! Was msging A. M was outside. With his friends. And guess what ? Wanna know what ? i think i shouldn't put it here. :D You'll get to know soooner or laater. And yes indeed, i wass feeling top of the world ! and mummy bought for me an audition card&MCR shirt ! yay !!
1507'07
Nothing to write as everything happened on that day was very personal & believe me. It was very horrendous *sigh.
1607'07
oh well, today, went school as usual. Well, vanessa lost her hp pouch & she blamed Wen Ling. Don't want to intefere. Hope that they are okay soon. After school, i hanged around with Mira&herboif&someonespecial :D it was SUPERB laaah !! But then, im not used to it as it had been a very long time indeed. i just hope that we will get closer, like last time.
*No matter what happens, i wish that our relationship won't fall apart like last time.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Sorry i didn't update for SO long. I was soo busy that i don't even have time to make a post. Let's update&talk more about my life. Well, it's going to be a very long post indeed. So, if you're lazy to read, then u may click the 'x' button on the top right corner.*having a super flashback*Monday, 0907'07I was grounded for certain reasons that i could not write here as it is very personal. So, my father sent me to school on that day. I was quite pissed off actualy. But it was great because i don't have to waste my time&money boarding 2 busses to clementi and walk to school. Smiled at the security guard and walk at a slow pace to classroom. I was very sleepy indeed. I looked as if i'm going to faint in any moment. Met Mirah and went to the toilet to put on make-ups and do my hair. Then, we headed off to assembly with PeiHui&Vanessa. Lessons went on as per normal. boring&tiring. After school, walked to clementi with Fahanah&Kevin&Darren. Didn't stayed long. Like i've said much earlier. I'm grounded. But i'm okay because I'm used to it. Took bus 154 home. Reached home and was amazed that i reached home befor mom does for the first time. She tought that i didn't go to school. Yes, i laughed. At 7pm, watched Cinderella&Candy on SCTV&RCTI till 9+pm. Went to bed early because i can't hold my eyes any longer.Tuesday 1007'07Like Monday, went to school in my dad's company car. Met WenLing&Vanessa. Mira&PeiHui didn't came to school because they were sick. Went to the toilet. Put on make-ups. Do my hair. Go for assembly & finish school at 2.15pm . sucks. yes indeed. It's very typical. *sigh* After school, walked to macdonald. Ate lunch with WanLin&Vanessa while WenLing had to go somewhere else. And i felt sorry because i can't follow Hafiz to Novena to meet his Officer as he's under probhation. Pitty him. Went home and like usual, watch TV till 9+pm. And went to sleep. Wednesday 1107'07Like usual, went to school, went to the toilet, do my hair, go for assembly & finish school at 1:05pm . What a relief. Hang around with WenLing&Adham&Amirul&Faris&Aby&Haikal for a while. Then, me&WenLing went to the mac. Met Darren&Kevin. Go home & watch TV till 9+pm. OMG ! can't believe i'm repeating the same thing over and over again. Thursday 1207'07Go for my daily routines. Finished school at 2:15pm . Didn't go for the superband thingy. Because i was tired. WenLing didn't came. Walked to clementi with Mira&Vanessa. Went hope at 3pm. Early right ? *sigh. Didn't watch tv. I played Audition instead. I only reached lvl 6. But i can catch up on fast songs already. Yay ! Friday 1307'07Yes ! Friday the 13th. Well, i didn't get any bad luck for the day. Finished school at 12:40. Slack with Farhanah&Darren&Nafie. I was very pissed off by Nafie because he don't undersand english. Totally sucks. Then, Farhanah had to go home. I was msging Matt. Walked to mac with Nafie&Darren. Slacked for a while and i told them i had to go. Matt told me to hang around with them. So, i went. Walked to Amirul's void deck and waited for them. Matt&Saddiq&Aby&Hafiz&Taufiq&Mirul came. Then, we went to Mirul's home to watch anak metropolitan. Haha. It was fun indeed. Soon, Adham came. Then, around 5:30, me&matt&hafiz walked together to clementi int. Then we seperated. They went to the Mrt st while i go to the bus stop. Watched TV. Adham msged me & asked why i go to Mirul's house. Lol ? msged him all night andwent to sleep without noticing.
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